Are You A Pouter?

 
Pouting is popular with the prepubescent, but occasionally it occurs in even the older.  The latter would be especially amusing, if not for how pathetic they appear.  Pouting is, by design, an exercise in immature manipulation and an expression of excessive self-centeredness.  Perhaps the best (worst?) example of this mode of operation comes from the infamous Ahab, arguably Israel’s most wicked king.  After his encounter with the prophet who rebuked him for failing to kill Syrian King Ben-Hadad, Ahab “went to his house sullen and displeased” (1 Kings 20:43).  “After these things” (1 Kings 21:1), Ahab desperately wanted to own the vineyard of his unfortunate neighbor, Naboth.  Naboth declined the purchase offer, leaving Ahab once again to go “into his house sullen and displeased” (1 Kings 21:4).  Can you almost envision him slamming the door and stomping with his lip protruding?  There are even hints of his pouting when Jehoshaphat asks for a true prophet and Ahab begrudgingly acknowledges the existence of Micaiah (1 Kings 22).  Ahab says of the good prophet, “I hat him, because he does not prophesy good concerning me, but evil” (8).  You read about him and you want to say with exasperation, “Be a man, why don’t you?”
Do we ever struggle with pouting?  Your initial response may be, “Are you kidding?  Never!”  Not even with your spouse, when you disagree, cannot have your way, or do not have your wishes granted?  Not even with the elders, when they make a judgment call you totally disagree with or they choose not to enact an idea you have?  Not even with a friend, when you feel they neglected you or they seemingly chose someone or something over you? 
Here is a test we can take.  Call it the “pouting test.” 
  • When displeased in a matter, do you clam up and expect the other person to read your mind?
  • If something is not done your way, do you try to punish the other person by passive resistance, gossip, silence, or other verbal or non-verbal clues that scream your unhappiness?
  • How do you handle it if told, backed by rational evidence, that it is too expensive, too unreasonable, too much or not enough in whatever way?
  • Do you give off physical sounds of sulking or pouting-clear visual cues of your displeasure?
I remember, as a teenager, not liking my mom telling me, “Nobody ever gets their way all the time.”  We understand the logic of that, but when do we ever have a single occasion when we feel our way is not the best way?  If we thought of it, thought it through, and built our case, surely that is the way it ought to be.  The problem with that thinking is that we are not living on a deserted island.  We are surrounded by people able to independently exercise judgment, form opinions, and make decisions.  Sociability, in marriage, friendships, the church, on the job, with parents, and elsewhere, demands an attitude that puts others before self (my Philippians class will remember that principle).  Let us encourage each other to grow toward spiritual maturity, part of which includes putting away things like Ahabean pouting.
 
–Neal Pollard
How to deal with pouting: Take this “pouting survey:
[polldaddy poll=2921045]

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