A friend sent me a note about her daughter. It seems that her boyfriend had abruptly broken off their relationship and she is broken hearted. She wrote asking for words of encouragement on how to help comfort her daughter.
My first thought was that I as a man probably had less insight into dealing with that problem than she. Men seem to deal with problems, even problems of the heart by taking some kind of action. We want to “do something” to fix things, but sometimes things just can not be done by fathers, husbands, brothers or sons to make things better.
Today my father would have been 82 years old, but he went to be with the Lord several years ago. We remember him with hearts that ache to be with him again and think of my mother and the sense of loss she feels on special days like this.
At times each of us has to deal with a broken heart, a hurting heart, one that deals with losses and sometimes abuses and long for a way to make it better, to stop the hurting, to understand how this could happen. It is difficult for us, but sometimes we have to come to the conclusion that we may never understand why something happens. At times we struggle and continue to hurt emotionally for a long time and come to understand the truth that “time may heal all wounds”, but it still hurts while they are healing.
As in all things, our faith is of great importance as we struggle with things like this. God’s word helps us, encourages us and strengthens out faith to endure our hurts. The write of Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” When we are hurting we at tempted to say, that “no one understands”, however God does even if we can’t see or understand that idea when we are in the midst of the pain.
The writer of Psalm 147:3-5 encourages us by reminding us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.”
God does understand even if we don’t really grasp that concept at the time we are going through the difficulty. Pain, sorrow or hurt is never easy to go through, but there is a benefit for us. The writer of Ecclesiastes 7:3 tells us: “Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.”
I especially like this last passage, because as hard as it is, it tells us that in the end, our sadness now, will help us be a more caring, more understanding person in the future. The real truth to share is that most of the time there is no ways to make it better right now, no immediate fix that makes everything all right. But with faith and trust, God will some how, some day, work things to the good for those who love him. (Romans 8:28) He has something better, (maybe someone better) in store for us. When we understand that, our broken heart will begin to heal.