Well-meaning but misguided comments hurt people in unintended ways. Hope is a fragile thing. We try to be funny or lighthearted when we should be receptive and open. They extend their hearts to us and we slap it away.

Let’s consider some examples of conversations that happen far too often.

Us: “I can’t believe I’m turning 30…”
Others: “Well, wait until you turn 60…”

Us: I’m struggling going through…”
Others: “Well, wait until you go through…”

Us: “I’m having such a difficult time having lost my Mother…”
Others: “Wait until you lose both your parents.”

We could give a thousand different variations but it would be too painful. People do mean well but their words are cruel and heartless. Good words don’t make a good heart, action does.

The deepest human problem is pride and with it comes self-absorption. We are focused on ourselves and our needs and desires. Moreover, many people cannot see a world outside of their own experiences.

As God’s people, we must have a different focus. We’re called to be completely selfless (Matthew 5-7), being transformed by his Word (Romans 12:1-2). We love, sacrifice and give to our brethren (1 John 4:7-11).

To accomplish that, we must listen and focus our attention on our brother or sister in Christ. We must mute the running narrative in our minds so we can really listen.

When they come to us to share pain, suffering or a struggle and we disregard their difficulties as frivolous, we push them away. If that happens often enough, they’ll seek solace elsewhere. And once we leave Christ, Satan is the only alternative left.

And friends, when we’re partly responsible, there will always be a price.

–by Richard Mansel