I CANNOT OVERSTATE how frightening it is to lose a sense of control or influence…

People will even chose to stay in familiar situations that they know are not working rather than face the ambiguity of the unknown.  Many times, a battered wife will remain for years, even a lifetime, with a physically violent husband.  Women have reported that, among other reasons, they have stayed with brutal husbands because breaking out of the relationship was even more frightening than the beatings.  Even though the situation may be physically and emotionally abusive, such women have at least learned what to expect, and there is an odd comfort in being able to anticipate the future–even a negative future.

Before you discount the “battered-wife” syndrome as an unusual predicament that doesn’t reflect your situation, ask yourself when you last stayed in a bad situation longer that you should have.  For most of us, the unknown is so terrifying that we will remain with what we have long after it is apparent that it is punishing to do so.  Daryl Conner, “The Process of Change,” Managing at the Speed of Change, 89

“When the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry, saying, “Arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.” 16 And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the LORD being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city.”  Genesis 19.15-16  (emphasis mine–mb)

 Mike Benson