I CANNOT COUNT the number of people I have counseled who were passionate for their mates when they were dating or early in their marriage but who now despise their touch…

Too many men, being driven purely by the need to satisfy their sexual passion, make their wives feel they are of value only when they meet their husband’s sexual needs.  Driven by the self-centered, immature need for gratification, the man unwittingly sends that message.  When men pressure for sex, pout when they don’t get it, and expect sexual rewards for every act of kindness, they send a message that says, “I do not have agape-love for you.  I do not value you as a person.  I do not hold you in high esteem.  You are not precious to me.  You are only an object that I use for self-gratification.”

Too often we begin our marriages with more personal passion than agape-love.  Remember, eroticism apart from agape is self-centered.  It becomes purely an act of self-gratification.  In many cases we are young and inexperienced.  In other cases we are hurt from the past and influenced by previous fears and failures.  Too many marriages have begun without the tools necessary to build the relationship that was hoped for.  Dr. James B. Richards, “Your Pearl of Great Price,” We Still Kiss, 69-70

“For where…self-seeking exist[s], confusion and every evil thing are there.”  James 3:16

Mike Benson