Tag Archives: emotional tank

Don’t forget to fill the tank

 

I HAD BEEN gone from home for three days when Dale, my youngest son, was five years old…

Pat (my wife) and Dale were at the airport to meet me when I returned.  I was so anxious to talk with Pat that I inadvertently ignored Dale.  He repeatedly tried to get my attention, but I said something like “I need to talk to your mother–just hold your horses” in a less than kind voice.

By the time we got home, my usually sweet, people-pleasing child had the whole family in turmoil.  His behavior had deteriorated to the point where I was on the verge of spanking him.

Then Pat whispered to me, “Why don’t you practice what you preach?”

I was on the verge of punishing my boy when I was misbehaving myself.  An empty emotional tank is the most common cause of misbehavior in a young child.  I wasn’t fulfilling my basic fatherly responsibilities.  I forgot I can prevent serious mistakes such as this by asking myself, “What does my child need?”  Then I can correct the problem behavior positively rather than by using punishment.

Dale needed a daddy.  Through his misbehavior, Dale was asking me, “Do you love me?  You won’t even talk to me.  Don’t you love me anymore?”

I took Dale to our bedroom and held him.  I filled his emotional tank with eye contact, physical contact and focus attention.  After a few minutes, he was his usual, lovable, sweet self.  D. Ross Campbell, “Parenting–Being Like Jesus To Our Children,” The Transformation of a Man’s Heart, edited by Stephen W. Smith, 158

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”  Ephesians 6.4

Mike Benson