Tag Archives: ” The Effective Father

Gone fishing today with my son; a day wasted

IT IS SAID of James Boswell, the famous biographer of Samuel Johnson, that he often referred to a special day in his childhood when his father took him fishing…

The day was fixed in his adult mind, and he often reflected upon many of the things his father had taught him in the course of their fishing experiences together.  After having heard of that particular expression so often, it occurred to someone much later to check the journal that Boswell’s father kept and determine what had been said about the fishing trip from the parental perspective.  Turning to that date, the reader found only one sentence entered: “Gone fishing today with my son; a day wasted.”

Few have ever heard of Boswell’s father; many have heard of Boswell.  But in spite of his relative obscurity, he must have managed to set a pace in his son’s life which lasted for a lifetime and beyond.  On one day alone he inlaid along the grain of his son’s life ideas that would mark him long into his adulthood.  What he did not only touched a boy’s life, but it set in motion certain benefits that would affect the world of classical literature.  Too bad that Boswell’s father couldn’t appreciate the significance of a fishing trip and the pace-setting that was going on even while worms were being squeezed on to hooks.  No day is ever wasted in the life of an effective father.  Gordon MacDonald, “No Day is Ever Wasted,” The Effective Father, 79-80

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”  Ephesians 6:4

Mike Benson

Effective versus ineffective fathers

THE GENESIS ACCOUNT says Lot went to his sons-in-law and told them that there was trouble ahead (19:12), that the city was doomed, and that they’d better evacuate while the going was possible…

This is what the Bible says about their response:

“But to his sons-in-law he seemed to be joking” (Genesis 19:14).

The most serious moment in Lot’s life turned out to be a hysterically funny joke.  And why not?  What did they have to go on when Lot tried to offer special leadership?  His lifestyle?  The way he had lived in the past in Sodom?  He hadn’t talked about these things before; why should they be so excited when he suddenly raised these issues now?  Lot was no one to be talking about judgment; it certainly hadn’t marked his life before this.  He must be kidding.

Children do observe.  What do they see?  The answer separates the effective from the ineffective fathers.  The former takes note of the importance of exposure to his children — that every moment he is with them is a chance to make a positive impression for the purpose of character building and spirit development.  But the latter doesn’t see this.  His view of the family is one of simply living together and finding the home to be little more than a meeting place in which to eat, sleep, and have a little fun.  Gordon MacDonald, “Wear Shoes You Want to be Filled,”  The Effective Father, 99-100

“Now you have observed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions, my sufferings, what befell me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra, what persecutions I endured…”  2 Timothy 3:10-11

–Mike Benson