I heard a preacher once speak about a tombstone in California. “You cannot win” was engraved on it. Since the death of those we love is something with which we must all deal, grief is something we will also have to face. In Matthew 26:35-46, Jesus provides for us an example of how to deal with the burden of grief.  Make no mistake; grieving is a burden. Our English word “grief” comes from a Latin word that means “heavy.” So what can we learn from Jesus to help us shoulder this load?

INVOLVE OTHERS. Verse 36 says Jesus brought His disciples with Him to share with Him this time of grief. He asked them to pray as He also prayed. Others want to help you. Don’t shut them out. Friends, family, and church family want to help you.

SHARE WITH FRIENDS. Verses 37 says Jesus took the closest of His friends, Peter, James, and John, with Him. He then “began to be sorrowful and distressed.” The word translated “sorrowful” literally means “grieved.” He then shared with them His feelings (verse 38). Jesus unmasked his deep anguish. Too often we bottle up our feelings. We tell people “I am fine,” when we are anything but okay. We must share our feelings.

TIME with GOD (vv. 39-44). Jesus did two things in His time with God. First, He asked for God’s help (39, 42, 44). It is important to remember God cares! Jesus’ humanity can be seen. He did not want to face Gethsemane any more than we want to face sickness, aging, loss, or sorrow. Second, He sought God’s will (39, 42, 44). While God cares, He also knows best. We must remember that.

SERVE OTHERS (45-46). Setting aside His pain, our Lord gently warned his disciples to “watch and pray” knowing they would soon enter their own “gardens.” Without the discipline and strength of prayer, their weak flesh could not stand it! Jesus used His grief to serve those who would grieve. We must do the same.

There is nothing wrong with grieving. There is no shame in it. However, we must use our grief to draw us closer to God. Plus, experiencing grief and dealing with it in a God-approved way helps us serve others who are grieving. Involving others in our grief helps us see the value of going and sharing others’ pain. Sharing with others helps us to not worry about what to say. Those you serve will remember your presence long after your words are forgotten. Spending time with the Lord helps us remember we must let them grieve (Don’t be guilty of saying, “They just need to get over it”).

Grief is a burden. However, you do not have to bear it alone. Turn to your brethren. Turn to the Lord. If you are struggling and we can pray for you, please let us know. Remember, we love you, and God does too!

Corey Sawyers