I live in the South so I grew up saying “please” and “thank you.” It is second nature to me. I also called older people “Mr.”, “Mrs.”, or Miss. (There was no “Ms.”). We lived in the North for several years, and children called adults by their first name. I could never get used to that, and I didn’t allow my children to call adults by their first name. When my children were in their early teens, their friends began calling me “Mrs. Sandy.” I have been called “Mrs. Sandy” by the children in my Bible classes for as long as I can remember, and I’m good with that.
Culture changes many things, and one of those is the way we address people. The pandemic has also affected our greetings. There is no more shaking hands or hugging. Even smiling is difficult with masks. Fortunately, we have found ways to greet. Fist bumps and elbow bumps have become the new greeting. We have learned to use our eyes as a way to express a smile and even a frown.
It has occurred to me that the way we greet and address our fellowman says a lot about us as Christians. It is about respect. One of the definitions of respect as defined by the New Oxford American Dictionary is “due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights or traditions of others.” Speaking harshly affects the feelings. This probably needs no explanation. Refusing to address someone by a proper title or demeaning their position affects their wishes or rights. For instance, we would not address our president as Joe. We would address him as President Biden or Mr. President. His position dictates the way we address him or refer to him. Tradition is a little different. The older generation generally expects the “Mr.”, “Mrs.”, “Miss” or “Ms.” Many of the younger generation think such titles are obsolete and unnecessary in today’s society. They may be right, but I believe there is still a place for respectful titles and common courtesies. I know titles play a part in the Scriptures in both positive and negative ways.
In Matthew 19, a man came to see Jesus. He wanted to know what he could do to inherit eternal life. Jesus instructed the man in the basic Old Testament Law, and the man assured Jesus that he had kept all of the commandments. Then he was instructed to go and sell all that he had and give to the poor. The young man left sad because he was wealthy.
When this young man came to Jesus, he addressed him as “teacher.” Mark says he called Him “Good Teacher.” Either way of addressing Jesus was the ordinary or courteous way of speaking to a person professing to be a teacher. This was an excellent way of getting His attention.
In John 3, we read of another man that came to see Jesus. This man was renowned in his own right. He was a Pharisee, and he was used to being addressed with respect. Nicodemus approached Jesus and addressed Him as “Rabbi.” This term was like his calling Jesus his master or his teacher. Nicodemas elevated Jesus by referring to Him as a teacher.
Though these titles were appropriate for Jesus, they were not and are not appropriate for us today. In Matthew 23, Jesus was addressing the Pharisees and their hypocrisy. He accused them of “preaching but not practicing.” They put burdens on the people, making them obey the specifics of the Law of Moses, but they did not comply properly with those same laws.
They loved drawing attention to themselves. They loved having places of honor at special occasions and sitting in the best seats in the synagogue. They especially loved being greeted in the marketplace and other public places and being called “rabbi.” Jesus rebuked them for this. He said, “But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ” (Matthew 23:8-20 ESV).
Jesus was teaching a lesson in humility, not only to the Pharisees but to His own disciples. Elevating oneself in a religious sense is condemned. We are all the same in the sight of God. There are three positions in the church that have names. Or titles. They are elders (shepherds or bishops), deacons, and ministers or preachers. Those who serve in these positions are not to be elevated above fellow Christians. Elders are appointed by the local congregations to watch for the souls of the flock (Acts 20:28). They serve as overseers of the church. They are to be the authority for the local congregation with deacons as servants, serving the physical needs of the church as in Acts 6. Ministers are to “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching” (Second Timothy 4:2). None who serve in any of these positions should be elevated by a title that makes them equal with God the Father. That is what the Pharisees did and what Jesus condemned.
Paul sums this up for us. “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another” (Romans 1:3-5).
Titles of respect are still appropriate, but titles meant to elevate anyone religiously are not scriptural. Taking God’s name or the name of Jesus in vain is another way many disrespect Deity today. Elevating man or bringing Deity down to human level are both wrong. May we be careful to speak to or of man and Deity in ways that show we belong to Christ.
Sandra Oliver