A MAN’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – Never too old to learn.
My wife has been gone on a trip to visit family for almost 2 weeks, so I have been a temporary bachelor for awhile. During this time I have learned some things and though I’d share my new found wisdom.
1. Man cannot live on frozen pizza alone. sometime you need frozen chicken nuggets and a half gallon of ice cream.
2. When the dog throws up on the bed, you don’t have to wash the sheets immediately, (As long as it is on her side of the bed).
3. The wife is right, “Those dishes don’t wash themselves”. She will be glad to see how she proved her point when she gets back.
4. There is not need to dust all of the time, after all they keep urging us to conserve natural resources. I’ve found the coffee table is a handy place to leave paperless notes and when you are done you just wipe it off with your hand.
5. The higher the pile of dirty cloths the more the dog likes to dig around in it and make a bed. Who in their right mind wants to upset the dog?
6. When the milk goes over its expiration date you can still use it to make gravy (as long as you use lots of onions).
7. The trash cans don’t empty themselves either (she will be glad to see she is right about that too).
8. The wife doesn’t use enough fabric softener when washing the towels. It’s only been two weeks and my towel is stiff already.
9. The wash doesn’t do it ‘self either (she will be so proud).
10. The green stuff on the bread doesn’t seem to hurt anything, but it doesn’t taste very good, however lots of cinnamon and sugar helps a lot.
11. Brown meat doesn’t smell very good, but with a lot of garlic and barbeque sauce you hardly notice it.
12. You can live for a couple of weeks without eating salads and vegetables, even if we have been told “they are good for you”.
13. Last of all: It’s not much fun learning all of the things without someone to tease about not knowing them!
Hopefully you understand that these “lessons” were written as “humor,” and don’t reflect my true feelings about my personal responsibility to help out around the house. God’s word says: “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). I’ve been firmly convinced of this for many years, but it’s good to be reminded from time to time. Far too often we take our mates for granted and it shouldn’t be that way! How about taking a few minutes today and thanking the woman who blesses your life.
— Russ Lawson