Speaking some time ago with a 69-year-old woman by phone, I heard a story I will never forget. Tearfully, she told of a 14-year-old grandson named Matthew who locked himself in his room, took a pistol, put it in his mouth, and pulled the trigger. He survived, but the bullet was permanently lodged in his sinus cavity leaving him in constant, unmitigated pain. The greatest pain, however, was not physical. Matthew’s mother and father routinely flew to Las Vegas to gamble, dumping him off with anyone who was willing to take him. They might have occasionally “won” a few thousand on some trips, but they invariably lost their winnings and then some. Not long before Matthew’s tragic decision, his father told him, “I wish I’d never set eyes on you.” The boy had also told his grandmother, “Nobody loves me.” He also told her, “I want somebody to take me to church.” When she offered, he said, “I want my daddy to come and sit beside me.” The dear grandmother lamented that her grandson’s parents never showed much love and affection. In the wake of such tragedy, a young man with most of his life before him could not bear the thought of continuing one more day in such a topsy, turvy, loveless circumstance.
My mind was flooded with a variety of impressions and reactions. My heart went out to the boy. My anger was directed at the parents. My sympathy was reserved for the helpless grandmother. I learned several lessons from this tragedy.
BAD DECISIONS OFTEN CARRY AWFUL CONSEQUENCES. Every moment of that boys pain reminds him of his poor choice. How many lives have been rewritten in tragic ways by decisions made suddenly out of lust, anger, passion, and sorrow?
SIN DESTROYS A PROPER SENSE OF PRIORITIES. The boy’s father loved money and chance-taking more than the precious, eternal offspring he brought into being. He had greater joy in losing money than training a child. They made it clear they loved money and made as painfully clear they did not love their boy. Jesus died for that boy!
HOMES WITHOUT LOVE CRUMBLE. What a poor example of a home this was. “The wicked are overthrown and are no more, but the house of the righteous will stand” (cf. Prov. 12:7). Apparently, there was little or no love in this home. This reminded us of how much we need to fill our homes with deep, abiding, and unconditional love.
PARENTS HAVE A VITAL ROLE TO PLAY IN THE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR CHILDREN. Matthew wanted his daddy sitting next to him “in church.” Was that too much to ask? He was hungry for spiritual guidance from his parents. This boy was obviously lost and in search of direction, but his dad was an improper guide. Parents, let us be sure to prepare our children for spiritual health and survival.
There are too many young Matthews. Empty inside. Unsupported. Unloved. Unaided. Let us “be careful how [we] walk…” (Eph. 5:15) in front of our children. They may not try to end their physical lives, but we want to be sure they have eternal life!
Neal Pollard