One of my favorite sayings is from Maya Angelou. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

For those who don’t know who Maya Angelou was, she was an author, poet and civil rights activist. She was an intelligent, successful woman. She has many quotes to her credit, but the one I remember the most is this one.

I love this quote, partly because I am a fan of some of her writings; but there is Biblical teaching that sets the precedence for such a statement.

In Ephesians 4, Paul, the apostle, is speaking. He makes a reference to the Gentiles and their vanity. He tells the recipients of this letter, “No longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding…” (Ephesians 4:17-18 ESV). He goes on to say that their hearts have been hardened; they have become greedy, and they practice all kinds of impurities.

The King James Version says in verse 19, “Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.” Did you notice that Paul tells them that the Gentiles are past feeling?

Paul talks about some similar things in Colossians 3. He tells the Colossians and us, “But now you put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator” (Colossians 3:9-10).

Had you ever thought about how much this list of things Paul tells us to put out of our lives affects the feelings of others? How does it make you feel when you know someone has lied to you? How does it make you feel when someone gossips about you, is angry with you, or makes obscene remarks to you? These things occur when people lose their feeling for others.

Paul says in Philippians 2:3-5, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus.”

What a different world this would be if we lived every day esteeming others more important than ourselves. Over and over again, Jesus told His disciples to love one another. He knew they would need this bond to survive what was ahead of them after He went back to heaven. They needed to be close to one another. Their feelings for one another would greatly affect the way they carried the gospel to the world.

That is just as true of us today. Our attitude toward others is going to affect the way they feel and how they respond to us and our walk with God.

At a recent Ladies’ Day I attended, the speaker told a story that I think illustrates this idea of how we affect the feelings of others.

Kathy’s plane from her home in the west to a city on the East Coast was delayed for hours. She was tired and frustrated, but she had contained her feelings and pleasantly worked through the details to be placed on stand-by. When she finally boarded the plane, she had been given a seat just behind first class. She thought, “What a break!” As she started to take her seat, a gentleman came from the back of the plane and asked if she would trade seats with him so he could sit beside his young son. She told us that she was not happy about such an exchange of seats since his seat was a middle seat between two “football- type” gentlemen.

She reluctantly agreed, but she was not happy about it. What went through her mind was, “Why couldn’t he have asked one of those “football types” to change places with his son?”

At the end of the flight, she watched as the man stood, retrieved a pair of braces (the kind that fit around the arms) for the young boy. The extra space in their seat had provided the boy with a comfortable trip and had allowed the dad to be there in case his son needed him. There would have been no way he could have managed to get into a seat in the back of the plane.

As she passed their seats, the gentleman looked up and thanked her for her kindness. She said she didn’t feel very kind, and she knew that the scowl on her face had not shown a willingness to make the sacrifice.

“Love suffers long and is kind” (I Corinthians 13). It is the little, ordinary, everyday things that make a difference in the way people feel. It is the little acts of compassion that we show as we go along our way to work, to school, to exercise, to shop that tell others, “I am a Christian.”

How do you make others feel?

Sandra Oliver